Dear all the Johns/Janes out there,

 Let me tell you some thing about Alice: she’s a demanding person.

Never step on her shoes. Never touch her hair (except in bed). Don’t force her to eat meat (though seafood is fine). Treat her to froyo if she needs cheering up. Kiss her when you see her (it cools her down after a heated argument with her folks). If you’re borrowing one of her books, wash your hands before you read it. Give her vanilla milkshake if she’s not on a diet. Tell her she’s getting fat when she asks even though she’s rail thin. Buy her chili sauce if she’s craving for it. Leave her alone if she feels like writing. Don’t ask her out if your curfew’s too early for her liking. Serve her coffee when she’s doing (your) homework. Don’t try to control her. Never distract her when she’s reading. Give her a break if she needs space. Don’t repeat what you say, it annoys her. Talk to her when she’s drunk dialling you. Pick her up when she wants you to pick her up. Give her everything she wants and try your best to get it when she wants it. It may sound a lot but believe me when I say that it’s all worth it. She might seem demanding but believe me, fulfilling her whims is the least you can do for her. She’ll take you to places you’ll never forget. She’ll teach you lessons you’ve always been afraid to learn. She’ll take you by surprise one day and give you that thing you’ve always wished for. She’ll embarrass herself just to please you. Most of all, without ever looking back, she will break the rules. Just for you.
And she’ll do your homework (just kidding! a pair of shoes should cover a month’s worth, haha). Treat her like a princess. She’ll treat you like shit. But she will take care of your heart like a mother cares for her child.

Don’t hurt her, please. And don’t let her do any more homework. I’ve let her suffer enough.

- Maxine, the Super Ex Girlfriend

I’ve never cried so hard in my life. I’ve just had one of those moments when you cry and laugh at the same time. It’s killing me, but it feels great. Just when you think you’ve fucked up every relationship you’ve had, one of them calls you up from thousands of miles away to tell you that you didn’t.

And am I really that demanding? And cold-hearted? Haha..

Closure. Finally.

Fuck, this is too much. My tears need to STOP, goddamnit.